I came out to my husband last night. I didn’t tell him I am a lesbian because I’m not sure yet if that label fits. I told him instead that I am struggling with my sexual identity because that very much does fit. I explained it genesis with my crush on M but I left out any mention of intimacy because it just doesn’t really matter. It wasn’t the sex so much as my overwhelming feelings for her. The air between us felt shining and clean…and for the first time in a long time I felt an inkling of desire for him. I didn’t move on it. I didn’t want to send him mixed messages and I want to be good to my word of exclusivity to H. But, nonetheless it was there… if I wasn’t confused before I am now.

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