I told my husband, unequivocally, that I am done.

But the truth is that while I have so much anger and resentment over the years of neglect lack of respect, I do love him and we are good together in many ways. But the alternate truth is that I have no NO sexual desire for him at all or men in general AND he did neglect me, he did marginalize my input, he did reject me fpr YEARS… so sometimes I wonder how the hell can I have moments of doubt over my decision. I gave it a good try. For years I tried talking to him telling him what I needed emotionally and physically. I cried, a talked, I pleaded and he blew me off until the day I left… then suddenly he’s paying attention.

I think I’m just second guessing myself out of fear of the unknown in a future that is not as secure. But it’s hard nonetheless.