I’m walking through the hospital this morning on my way out of radiation. A couple passes me. They are young or at least my contemporaries, early to mid 40’s. They are tall, attractive, well dressed. They held hands. He was focused on her. Their demeanor is sober but not catastrophic. I knew that if I turned and watched them go down the hall that they would turn into the radiation clinic.

Over the past 5 weeks I’ve watched women come and go from the clinic. I’ve watched them in the waiting room. They almost all are accompanied by their husbands… all but one. I have spent the past 5 weeks sitting in that waiting room alone. I have spent the past 5 weeks getting progressively redder and more sore, itchier and more swollen…by myself.

I know Maitre would have been with me, by my side, holding my hand the whole time if he could.  I guess I’m really sad because the person whose job discription that is in hasn’t.