I am so tired. I’m tired of hurting inside and out. I’m tired of being sick in one way or another and I’m tired of our relationship taking body blows.  I’m tired of being disappointed by having the rug pulled out from under us. I’m tired of not feeling like I can count on anything beyond uncertainty. 

We have fought and misunderstood one another with little or not time to mend the rents created by our strife.  At best we have been like two ships in the night… a romantic image, but a sucky reality.  

I feel like I have nothing to sustain me in this. Every time I turn around fate is asking me to be patient, to be the devoted submissive.  Well, I guess I’m just not very good at that. I need sustenance.  I need my kink fed and my heart nurtured. I need my body to heal from all the abuse that illness has heaped on it of late.