I was just out on Fetlife catching up on the SM board. There was a thread on pushing limits and safe-words. The poster was trying to figure out how to have their limits pushed if they can stop a scene whenever they want. Damn good question and if you ask me. Why are they playing these games if they are just going to safe-word out at the drop of a hat?

I have a safe-word. I don’t think I’ve ever used it. I mean what’s the point? If I trust him enough to bind me, effectively putting my life in his hands, shouldn’t I trust him enough to be paying attention and reading me? I guess the answer is no. I guess there are many “Dom”s out there who don’t pay attention, who put their own twisted desires ahead of their subs well being.

Now granted there have been times I’ve hollered ”no” or “stop” and he has immediately done so, based I suppose, on the tone of my voice. But my point is this, I want my limits pushed. I want to be made to hurt, feel uncomfortable, be scared, act out…whatever… I want these things and I want to please him. This puts my safe-word far, far from my mind, purposefully putting it beyond my reach.

Isn’t this part of the draw of BDSM? Isn’t this what it’s all about? Or am I somehow misguided or making gross assumptions? 

Early on he wrote me that he was looking for someone who wanted to “dance on the edge of her limits”. That puts it so beautifully. This is what I want, to dance on the edge of my limits. I want this not only during play but through out my life. I want to always be pushing myself, always exploring, always dancing on the edge of my limits.