I hadn’t realized exactly how much I had missed you, missed Us as well as US… how much I had missed THIS.  How right and good it felt for you to call me on my behavior with J! How good it felt to feel your strength, your boundaries, your compassion and your love again.  To once again have your fist in my hair, the sting of your palm on my face, to bend before your chi, to even have moments when I would rather hide than face you… all sublime, all much missed, all greatly loved.

It is in moments like these when my heart swells and I feel filled with Us that I marvel at it but aslo question it. No, I do not question Us. I question the why.

Why does it speak to me so dearly? Why does it thrill me so completely? Why is it that to feel you ‘over’ me fills my every fiber, makes my mouth water and makes my heart joyous in being brought to heal?

I could not have this with just anyone, this I know. I chose carefully, we chose one another carefully. I would have walked away from my search rather than embrace a hollow shell of submission with the wrong person. When knew that it was time to open my soul again, I never imagined that I would find one that would so move me. I never imagined I would find You. Honestly, in my heart of hearts,  I never thought that I would find another that I long to yield to, as I did Him. Another with whom the desire at times both crushes me under it’s weight and ignites my soul.  But I have and I do…. it’s just different, as it should be.

I have missed you so very much!