J, my sweet subbly one, get’s major kudo’s from me. Further more Maitre will be very pleased with him. What a very good boy indeed, he deserves a treat!


I spent some time with him last night. After a melancholy and physically painful day I need a little TLC so I went to spend some time with him. Now, I didn’t break the spirit of my rules, I never truly slipped my collar, but I did stretch the “letter of the law” a bit.  But you know the truth is it was some much needed contact and warmth, as well as a lovely little distraction that helped heal. Sometimes taking care of what belongs to Maitre isn’t so clear cut.


My rules are such that I can play with J, I can get him naked, I can tease and torture him, clip his nipples spank his ass till it’s bright red, I can even have him cum on my feet and lick it off if I like (I do and have…very hot!). What I can’t do is derive any gratification, from our interaction, for myself. I get no skin to skin, no sexual contact for me, nothing… bah! In short there is no incentive for me. Because of this I have been neglecting him. I have avoided much in the way of heat, beyond some necking as the last time I played with him I broke my rules. He knows what my restrictions are, and so what our restrictions are. He is admirably accepting of them and is content to have what we have.


So, I must steel myself to play with him. He more than deserves it. I must harden myself against my own frustration, my own yearning for gratification and bolster my resolve to remain in control of myself so that I may give him what he deserves. …  a good sound spanking for starters.


How twisted is my world, that in it pleasure and reward are taken where others find nothing but anguish and degradation.