I had lunch with a co-worker today. He’s an older man who’s had a crush on me for sometime. I have no one to blame but myself as I used to flirt mercilessly with him. But we’ve talked and straightened it out. He’s not a Dom nor is he a sadist but much to his credit he understands that I need both these things and holds no resentment.

 

As I sat there talking with him some about Maitre I felt all those reasons that I love my One come over me. In talking to this friend I could plainly see the difference, feel the difference between my kinky Dom and this very sweet but most definitely vanilla man. For me it felt like he was “masculine lite”.  He had none of the paternalistic nurturing that Maitre does. I didn’t feel that level of being protected and safe that I feel with Maitre. There is no kink in this man, no dominance in him, he’s just… well…comparatively flat.

 

I miss Maitre’s depth of being and right now I miss my Daddy too. I’m not feeling great. I’ve got a cold that I’m fighting off and all I really want to do is to curl up in Daddy’s great big warm arms. I want to lay my head on his lap while he reads to me. I want to snuggle up against his warm body and drift of to sleep feeling safe and protected against the outside world.

 

I know there are those who get squicked over the whole “Daddy” thing but it isn’t age play for us. It’s all about how he takes care of me both in a loving manner and in a disciplinarian manner, when needed. I love that he cares enough about me to discipline me. I love that I am his little one and that he feels protective of me. Calling him Daddy speaks to the man who would feed me chicken soup and read to me when I’m sick. And right now I need my Daddy.

 

If I felt any better I would need my Maitre. I would need the one I belong to, whose desires I bend to and whose dominance makes me wet with desire. Maitre is the one who looms over me, the one who can frighten the piss out of me and loves the tears that are his. He is the one whose huge hand turns my ass crimson and then black and blue. He is the one whose arm tightens around my neck making my heart quicken with fear. He will be the man who one day tears me down, humiliating me, degrading me, only to build me back up to his little princess again.

 

It just seems to me that these relationship have so much more depth to them.

 

Damn I miss him.