I do silly things when we are out of touch. For instance, I check my email knowing you won’t have written but secretly hoping to find something. Of course there isn’t anything, so I will write you instead.

As I sit here many things are going through my head. Most of them of little or no interest to the few who read this other than you.

I find myself thinking about how much more I miss you when I know I am not going to see you or speak to you.

I am wondering if I tell you all of the nonsense that goes through my head and you know how wrapped around you I am will you stop trying. After all, we all love a challenge, if you have me then I am no longer a challenge. Am I?

I wonder if today’s conversation on our thoughts concerning us, our thoughts on the “what if” long term…. if that conversation will change us. Is that too much too soon?

I worry. I worry that our feelings will get in the way of our dynamic, please don’t let them. I truly long for your demands, to give you what you desire, for you to bend me to your will. Please do not think for one moment that I crave it any less now than I did to start. If anything it means more to me now. It means more and is more fulfilling knowing that bend to your will and to your heart. Don’t you know you could take me farther now than you could have two months ago. My trust in you is complete, my desire to suffer for you an ache in my loins, my need to be pushed by you that much keener.

And then finally my last thoughts are about missing you, wanting you, longing to be in your arms and submitting to you. How it seems like forever since we played when in reality it was just last week that I cried for you.