So we are talking today. We are talking about my impending punishment, not only for breaking his rules about J but for drinking and driving. I love that he cares enough to call me on it. I love that he’s paying attention. I love that I mean that much to him and that he loves me too much to let it go unaddressed. … and I love him for those things.

I asked my friend A the other day if she thought you could fall in love with half a person. She asked me if I was falling in love with Maitre or if I was falling in love with the way he makes me feel. That is a valid question. A question I can’t answer directly but I know what I feel.

I know I feel a warm and safe in this with him. I know I feel cared for, loved and wanted, both for my body and the soul it contains. I know my heart feels full when I think of him. I can tell him anything, though the good things are easier than the not so good things. If nothing else I can take the cowardly way out and put it out here (like I’m doing now). I know what I do love. I love “this” that I have with him. I love the D/s and how it reaches ever so gently beyond our sexual relationship. It’s ever so quietly paternal without ever being condescending. I love that it falls into place so easily and naturally. It feels effortless and natural.

Today, I wanted to tell him I love him but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I do know what I mean and I don’t know how I could love only half of a person. So I will say this instead… I know that I love my Maitre.