Maitre believes that deep in me lurks a switch.
I vacilate on the subject. But what I do realize sitting here thinking about is that I am intimidated by trying that hat on in front of him. It’s really nothing more than performance anxiety. Performance anxiety interacting with our dynamic.  When try to wrap my head around it, try to imagine a purposeful effort at domming, I’m squicked. I cringe at the idea of it being in front of him and I absolutely recoil at the possibility of failing him on some level.
BUT…and a big but here to boot… when  consider it in a more organic way, or when I play at it in a more organic way (like the way that’s going to get me a good beating sometime next week… without the release of an orgasm..pfftttt) then it flows. 
I can also say that I have enjoyed playing with power from a “topping from the bottom” stance. I’ve always loved the power that has come with seducing a man. But to turn that power around and utilize it in a classically BDSM way? Well, that perhaps takes the nuts he says I have but don’t feel like I have. 
A bit of a catch 22 I have myself here, no?
I know full well that by putting this out here I am inviting him to push me but I trust him to push me in a way that suites me and only when I am ready.